What's the best bad option?

[AnotherElk]

You can always try to use the stock Android OS for your device sensibly …

@AnotherElk

Just use the stock Android OS of your device without a Google account (you can skip this step in the initial setup), uninstall every Google stuff you can uninstall without crippling functionality, and browse through all the settings to make some sensible Google-related choices.
Here’s an (old) example of this for the Fairphone 3. Things definitely will differ for recent versions of Fairphone OS or for other devices, so some research will be necessary.

Security of /e/

And install an app like Blokada or TrackerControl to be able to see exactly which services and trackers are trying to make connections in the background. Then blacklist them.